So when Taylor suggested I move closer to him, when the boys and their gorgeous girlfriends helped me find a new home, drew out diagrams of where my furniture might go in my new house, agreed to meet the utility folks to turn on the gas, picked up my keys, agreed to help with the garage sale, took off work to help me move – I felt like I won a 10-foot-tall Mommy Trophy.

It is through fully loving my inner children that I could finally come to fully love myself. The little one who is confused about why the grown-ups keep going away. The middle one who just wants to know what she needs to do so you will love her. And the teenager who pretends not to need anyone because she has it all way under control, who in truth desperately just wants to be seen and loved. My beautiful precious inner children.

Compassion is the flowering of love. Go beyond yourself, leave your own life aside, this is not about you. Step into the world of the other. Be curious? – what’s it like to be them? Do you know their pain, their passion, their hope, their fear? Have you walked in their shoes, is their life equal to yours?

Emotions give us a kind of weather report of ourselves and others, and that is powerful information.  Without that information we are not prepared for what storms may come. When I don’t know that it’s going to be 110 degrees outside today, I might not dress appropriately. When I am angry about something and unaware of my own anger, I can easily let that anger come out inappropriately.

So if you want to feel happy, notice when you are not. Lean into the sadness, anger, guilt, etc. Say, “I see you anger. What can I do for you? What are you hear to teach me? I love and accept you, and I love myself even when I am angry.” 

One of my go-to phrases during times of sadness or grief, be they my own or someone else's, is "If I could go to the store and buy you a bottle of time and slather it all over you you would feel better." I say this because healing takes time and we can't rush time no matter how much we may want to.

I have come not only full circle, I have created a new and holy circle. One in which I can freely give to my mother that which I never received from her.  My mother has truly been my greatest teacher.

Truth be told, our thoughts are the only thing we actually can control. Becoming the observer of our own thinking is the beginning.

If you stand over a budding rose demanding it to open so that you can enjoy its beauty now, the rose will not oblige you.

one of the Pearls in my Toolbox is that you can look at most things like a coin with a shiny side and a dull side. I choose which side I want to focus on

the world has been broken into pieces and it’s everybody’s job to find them and put them back together again

John suggested that we parents take a moment from time to time to sit down with our kids individually, and ask them this question: “How am I doing as a parent?” Wow! We all get evaluation from our bosses at work - that what’s working what’s not working conversation, but how many of us take the time to do that with our kids? I never have, but the moment I heard him say it, I knew I would.