Tracey Lee Wallace is a life coach, spiritual teacher, intuitive guide, and founder of The Ministry of Self-Love, The Self-Love Movement, and The Foundation of Love. For nearly 20 years, she has helped individuals break free from limiting beliefs, unhealthy patterns, and emotional barriers so they can build a stronger, more authentic relationship with themselves and others.
I wrote this blog post years ago...maybe 6 or 7 years ago. I refer to it often, forwarding it to clients, unearthing it for the truth and goodness and the powerful shift it offers the reader. I shared it again just this week with a client and felt the nudge to share it with all of you again, now, for those of you who need this message as much as I did years ago.
Let me break it down here: We all have ‘oh shit’ moments. And I mean we all, me too. Some days everything feels like an ‘oh shit’ moment. If we had an internal Richter scale gauging our ‘oh shit’ moments, most of them would at least be a 7, some even higher.
Unless a bear is chasing you through the woods, or a lion is about to eat your face off, or there’s a person with a bloody ax at your door, or some other extreme and unlikely event, your ‘oh shit’ moment is a big fat hairy lie.
The number 1 Pearl in my Toolbox is ‘Better out than in’. And it’s number 1 for a reason.
I firmly believe that whatever we are holding in will eventually find its way out, and when we can let it out on purpose, well, let’s just say there’s a whole lot less mess to clean up.
Trying to hold our feelings in is as futile as trying to hold 10 beach balls underwater at the same time. It’s just not possible. These feelings we think are better kept on the inside, will fester and ooze and get infected without oxygen. Basically, they get worse to get our attention. They get worse because they want out.
Stasis: a period or state of inactivity or equilibrium.
Today I’m going to share with you the importance of getting yourself back to stasis, a state of equilibrium, where you are neither escalated nor de-escalated. You are neither triggered or depressed. You are at peace.
And I’m going to share with you some techniques that can assist you with getting back to stasis.
“I Love myself and so…” is a phrase you may have noticed I use a lot. It’s my fave, my go-to, and has become my signature and tagline. And today I am going to share with you one potent and powerful way I action this phrase on the regular!
I want to take you inside of my personal space and experience because it’s easy to think that while I teach this, I don’t live it, and the reality is I teach this because I live it. I’m in it with you, and it doesn’t always feel good. So here’s a juicy peak at my own time deep in it recently walking hand-in-hand with myself and Love.
Whenever I feel triggered, I stop, take a breath, I recognize what is happening, close my eyes, and step into the time machine. In my mind’s eye, I imagine the time machine door opening.
We all experience moments of discomfort on the daily. What I want you to remember with your spectacularly brilliant intellectual brain that: Discomfort does not necessarily mean you’re not safe. This can seem difficult to understand at first because biologically we are meant to interpret discomfort as danger.
What is this Self- Love thing that so many people are talking about right now?
As the mother of 3 spectacular boys 22, 20 & 18, I have had countless teenagers in and out of my home and heart. Teenagers want what we all want - to be seen and heard, to feel validated and valued. And they want boundaries. They don't like them, but they do want them.
I have written this 1,000 times or more in my head. Generally, in the wee hours of the night. For much of my life this was my biggest fear.
Magic comes simply from the loving act of witnessing oneself, discovering what is it you truly desire. And major magic comes from speaking it out-loud, and allowing yourself to be witnessed.
We live our best life when we are completely authentic, totally in integrity with our Soul, when we unabashedly and unapologetically speak our Truth, when we have shed the adaptive self, when the ego-mind quiets and Spirit-mind take the helm.
If you truly want the world to be more peaceful, joy-filled, loving, kind, compassionate (who doesn't really)? Start noticing your inner dialogue. Can you gently shift that voice to be more loving? How many times can you catch yourself doing good today? Can you make a list of 5 stellar things about yourself today, and add 5 new ones tomorrow, and the next day and the next?
I, Tracey Lee, no longer accept, allow, condone, participate in, witness, or tolerate mind fuckery in my life. This includes the mind fuckery I create myself. I will master the ability to choose one thought over another. I decide. I choose. I am the authority. I love me, and therefore I take this loving stand.
❤
I, Tracey Lee, will no longer be bound by the slavery of my fear.
I will never again give my power away to my insecurities, my doubts, or my resentments.
I will stop allowing my past to define who I am, and I will stand for my highest integrity.
relationships of vast depth and meaning are *not* those free of conflict, but ones where working through conflict is embraced as path, where the participants are transformed into an alive vessel of purification, love, and healing.
Lessons from Mother were not the kind you skipped and sang through. She was not the kind of teacher you joyfully brought an apple. Hers was a tough class room. And now with the lessons done, and the final exams passed, I am a far better version of myself having had the experience. Every step of the way Mother was most definitely teaching me love, though it often didn’t feel like it. One thing is for certain, I am a teacher of love because Alicia was my mother.
"Every tear shed in grief was born in love."
- Tracey Lee
In the wake of a breakup or loss or aloneness, sometimes, far less often that before, that old familiar demon comes to call. The Lonely Monster, as I used to call it, is alive and well and telling me lies again.
